Mar 17

The Best Action Movie Ever

I just re-watched Transporter 2, and I came up with the best idea ever for an action movie.  Well, technically I came up with it a few days or weeks ago, but now seems like a good time to post.

What if we took Vin Diesel and Jason Statham and put them in a movie together?  It’d be two hours of beating other people up.

After all, most of their movies seem to follow the same basic plot.  Guy goes on a mission/people are coming to get him.  He beats them up.  End of story.  I’m looking at you, Riddick and Transporter.

If we want to throw in more bald people in there, throw Bruce Willis in as well.  That would be a great trio right there.

Of course, I have a feeling that the movie would have no plot.  But then again, you have three guys beating up other guys, so what plot needs to be there? 😛

(also, relevant XKCD)
Feb 27

What we dream

So I had a funny dream last night.

For some reason, I was thinking of the song Tubthumping by Chumawamba(a.k.a. I get Knocked Down).  This morning, shortly I woke up, I had a dream about part of the song.  Only some of the lyrics were replaced.  The best way to describe it is when the woman sings “Pissing the night away / pissing the night away” I replaced the lyrics with “I believe in the darkness / I believe in the light”.  Only a little happier.  And it was also sung by a woman with long pink hair in WWII-era uniform.  She was in the bar from Band of Brothers next to Carwood Lipton.

This brings up a good question: what do we dream?  Do we have full lifetimes in our dreams?  There is one person that I can remember(though sadly I can’t remember who at this point) who had a years-long dream and was in the middle of writing it down when he was interrupted.  Can we all have dreams like this?  It reminds me of the Batman Beyond episode where people were addicted to a virtual reality simulation.

Anyway, that’s the random thought of the day.

Jan 18

CGI in Movies

Last night, I went to see The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, and it got me thinking about the CGI that was used.  Not just in The Hobbit, but in the previews as well.  There was a preview for The Amazing Spiderman 2, and almost the entire trailer was CGI clips.  Now don’t get me wrong, CGI can be used to do some great shots.  However, the problem as I see it is that it can be greatly over-used.

On some movies, this can be an intentional choice.  Such as in Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, where pretty much the entire movie was CGI – this works in my opinion.  However, when you need to mix CGI and live-action seamlessly, there can be a tendency more to be lazy with the live-action.  Before CGI, miniatures had to be made for everything, and miniatures almost always look better than CGI.  Granted, these shots probably used CGI to cut two shots together, but in my mind this is an acceptable use of CGI.  Creating an entire scene seems lazy.

The reason that I found The Hobbit to have a lot of CGI is because most of the movie that was inside the lonely mountain was CGI.  Everything just seemed too perfect.  The gold coins seemed all flat, Smaug was sitting on  a ridiculously large pile of gold, among other things.  I will paraphrase The Hobbit book here, from memory:

A constant stream of smoke came out of the gate.

I never got this feeling from the movie; everything still seemed as though the dwarves had left the lonely mountain and nothing had really changed.

To conclude, I think that this video shows what I’m talking about well; there are CGI elements, but it’s used more to tie two real shots together.  Because of this, it really shows better what is going on, and everything seems more realistic.  One of the problems with CGI as I see it is that everything seems too perfect; this is partly because of how the light is reflecting off of objects.  Most of the time, everything seems too bright.  The rest of the time, it generally feels off because the laws of physics seem to be broken; miniatures still have to follow the laws of physics.

Aug 04

What the heck, Discovery?

You guys used to be so good. You had a bunch of interesting shows that really let me learn a lot about the world. And now you do crap like mermaids, and now megalodon shark attacks on boats in South Africa.  WHAT THE FUCK?!  Look, I’m all for being entertained, but when I’m watching Discovery, Animal Planet, heck any channel that is owned by Discovery, I’m not looking for entertainment.  I’m looking to learn.

I think that these shows do have a place in the world.  But when you make shows like these, don’t film them as pseudo-documentaries, or “mockumentaries” as people call them.  They should be about possible things that happen.  You guys should be there to help promote thinking about what is there, and what used to be there.  None of this fake crap that you’re putting out there now – it’s frankly insulting.

I know that you guys make enough money as it is.  This is just retarded that you’re doing something like this.  If you want to do something about megalodon, that’s fine.  Let’s do it in a way that lets people learn about megalodon, like what it could have been like.  Also, I don’t want actors playing biologists or anything, get real biologists out there to tell us this stuff.  You do a great disservice to all of us when there are people pretending to be biologists when they really aren’t.

Also, History Channel, I’m looking at you too.  I don’t really have anything against Pawn Stars or American Pickers, because they can be good shows about showing off items from history.  But when I hear crap like Pawn Stars having an item on the show that is in a museum currently, well, that’s just stupid as well.  Again, not that there’s anything wrong with the show itself per se, but when it’s blatantly obvious that they’re not actually buying or selling anything then we have a bit of an issue here.

TruTV, you’re not so good yourself.  I don’t really watch you anymore.  Except for maybe World’s Dumbest.  That’s actually amusing since it’s not really staged, it’s just people making sarcastic comments and mocking dumb people.

Aug 03

A Great Movie Idea

So here’s an idea for a movie that I just thought up: a comedy movie along the lines of Home Alone, but instead of breaking into somebodies house, they try to break into the Wonka factory to steal the secret recipe for chocolate or something like that.  Then they get into all sorts of wacky hijinks because it’s, you know, the Wonka factory.  You’ve got seltzer that lifts you up to the ceiling, gum that makes you fat, people getting stuck in tubes, the list goes on and on!

Jul 21

New Website Software

Okay.  I think I know what I’m doing here.

WHAT HAVE I DONE?!  you ask.  Well, it’s really quite simple.  I haven’t been updating the website software much, so I decided that I’d just move to WordPress.  I really got the webspace for learning PHP, and to see what I could do with a CMS system.  However, in order to do everything that I want to do, I’m not motivated enough to finish work on it.  Also, I’m not a web developer.  So there’s that as well.  But I have migrated the website over, so that all old posts and pages are still here.  Links will have changed, but the content stays the same.  I may pick up work on the CMS system again sometime, but probably not.  If anybody wants to take it over/use it though, I have no problem with that.